The PROUDEST moment of my life is when I became a dad. I've had the distinct privilege of raising 7 incredible children to adulthood and being a father literally changed my life for the better. Babies are a gift from God that should be loved, cherished and protected; but unfortunately, a growing movement in our culture sees things very differently as New York state passed its Late-Term Abortion Law making it legal to kill unwanted babies up till dilation and in some cases immediately after they have been born.
Pro-Life vs Pro-Choice has been a war raging for over four decades; but regardless of the side you stand with, there is one lingering question that has recently captured the nation’s attention concerning men's rights for their unborn children. If the state can force a man to be responsible for a child he does not want through the enforcement of child support, should a man also have equal parental privilege when it comes to the decision to abort or save his unborn child? As a father that was helpless to save my unborn twin sons that were aborted in 1999, I believe we should be included in the rights of choice.
The 1973 Roe v Wade decision by the Supreme Court is still the law of the land but the rights of millions of wannabe dads that hope to be loving parents are stripped away as the Roe V Wade decision unfairly degrades, disregards and completely destroys their hope in being loving parents. The effects of abortions are deeply felt around the world. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 40-50 million babies are killed annually which correlates to 125,000 abortions per day.
Huge numbers like these tend to desensitize most people, but if you ask parents how they would feel if their child was scheduled to be executed, they would fight intently to save their baby because that 1 single life is all that matters to them. This gives some perspective to my argument as millions of men just like me had to face the demise of their unborn child with their hands tied behind their backs by the Federal Government. This country is finally waking up to the plight of paternal parents without rights as leading bloggers and journalist are opening their hearts to tell our stories.
Catholic Blogger Katrina Fernandez wrote a brilliant article dispelling the myth that men can care less about the systematic genocide of their unborn children to free themselves of the financial burdens of a child. In fact, she paints a vibrant picture of how the emotional trauma of abortion can permanently alter a man’s life forever. “Not only does abortion hurt women, it ruins the lives of men as well. It robs them of the fatherhood and effects the way they see themselves as a man.”
Fernandez boldly dives deeper as she shares the story of a dear friend of hers named “R” who unfortunately felt powerless to save his unborn child as the parents of his girlfriend saw abortion as the ONLY option to save their futures. The parents were naturally concerned about their welfare and understood that “R” and their daughter were not ready for the responsibility of a child and pressured their daughter to end her pregnancy. She details how “R” regrets not standing up to them and is living his life in shame.
I could not help but be drawn to this story because I felt helpless as well when my twins Howard and Hank were aborted in 1999. Fortunately, high powered attorneys like Debra C. Moss is also fighting for the rights of fathers and making sure that their voices are heard. She published a story in the American Bar Association titled “Father’s Rights Sought”. She opens the piece by stating how men were asking courts to give them a voice in abortion decisions. “Judge David Young in Salt Lake City, Utah, granted Michael John Reynolds’ request for a temporary restraining order to prevent his wife from having an abortion.”. The article colorfully illustrates multiple cases being brought before different court jurisdictions to prove why fathers should have legal rights pertaining to their unborn children.
Men being held responsible for children they do not want is nothing new; but many elements in the science community are becoming vocal on why men should also have parental privilege and the right of choice when it comes to their unborn children. Dara E. Purvis is an accomplished attorney with degrees from Yale Law School, University of Cambridge and the University of Southern California and she uses science as a foundation to build her case for the rights of fathers.
Her work presents multiple theories of parenthood based from assisted reproductive technologies (ART). ART is used to identify the intent of legal parents (both men and women) through complex algorithms to define a man’s rights as a father to protect his unborn children from abortion. “When considering a man’s intention to be a parent to a child not yet born, and whether the law can and should recognize his intent, the comparison to abortion is unavoidable. If the expectational parental interest of a man should be acknowledged in the context of a gestational surrogate pregnant with his intended child, should the expectational parental interest of a man whose wife is pregnant with his genetic progeny similarly be respected?” Purvis stated in 2015.
This work is vitally important. It reflects the intent of men dedicated to having children and the general basis that it takes two parents to make a child. The interest of both parents should be weighed equally when it comes to abortion, and the unborn child or the father should not be penalized because the mother may have had a change of heart. Using ART as a scientific reference supports the legal and moral arguments that if the government is forcing men to be responsible financially for children they do not want, then this same government MUST recognize that men should also have an equal say over the futures of their unborn children that they do want.
Even though I am an advocate for fathers I do realize that women are not property that a man should be able to enslave and control. I completely understand the extreme circumstances of women that have been violently raped by criminals, violated by disgusting family members and may lose their lives if they carry a child to term. I am not one of those people that demand women in these cases be forced to have the baby of their rapist, because that is just as savage as abortion and beneath all standards of human decency. Others in the Pro-Life movement may disagree with me on this and state that ALL babies must be born regardless of circumstances. I agree with them that all life is precious, I just simply would like more options given to women in dire straits and that is why I fully support Georgia's Heartbeat Bill.
Being raped myself when I was a child by a monster gives me credence to victims and a solid understanding of what eternal mental anguish feels like. To be forced to usher in a child under those circumstances simply adds fuel to the fire that burns a woman’s soul. But as a parent that has suffered the brutal loss of three children I know what hell feels like. I lost one child in an accident in 2008 and I had to come to grips with the fact my twin sons were aborted because my former girlfriend was upset at me and wanted to hurt me. Aborting children to hurt a man is a far greater problem than our society cares to admit. More children will be senselessly murdered if action is not taken.
This topic is a very sensitive issue and has affected me personally. I gratefully welcome those that share my views and understand those that oppose. There is no cookie cutter solution to this but I invite all of us to engage in a respectful debate to move the conversation forward. This is more than just about the rights of fathers to save the life of their unborn child; it is about the constitutional rights of citizens being denied access to decision making over their welfare while their financial resources can be confiscated by the government.
If fathers are so important where we are held responsible for the financial futures of children, then we are just as important in the decision making to save that child’s life and no government should get in the way of that. I know this may sound ridiculous to some but this is real, the pain that I carry alongside millions of other longing fathers is deep because abortion hurts everyone. I pray that God brings us the healing we need and grants us strength to STAND for those that need it most...OUR BABIES!
PRO-LIFE DAD vs NEW YORK LATE-TERM ABORTION